Swimming In The Dark. Book Review.
Right from the start you know it’s going to hurt. There were times reading it I wanted to stop because I knew how I was going to feel at the end. But I didn’t stop. In fact, I kept putting little Post-its where I wanted to re-read certain sections.
I am done with pretending that I have erased you from my mind. Some things cannot be erased through silence. Some people have that power over you whether you like it or not. Some people, some events make you lose your head. They’re like guillotines cutting your life in two, the dead and the alive, the before and the after.
Swimming In The Dark is a debut novel by Tomasz Jedrowski told retrospectively in letters addressed to “you” from the ‘dreadful safety of America”.
I think it’s one of the most beautiful stories ever written. Right from the start you know it’s going to hurt. There were times reading it I wanted to stop because I knew how I was going to feel at the end. But I didn’t stop. In fact, I kept putting little Post-its where I wanted to re-read certain sections.
The story takes readers to 1980s Poland and into the lives of two young men who fall in love as they spend time together in the countryside after attending a summer agricultural camp. Ludwik and Janusz have different ways they want to cope and ultimately choose different paths when they return to Warsaw as politics and their own fears pull these two men apart at every turn.
The historical context of the book is hard to read but essential in the characters’ lives as much of this takes place when Poland begins to undergo significant socioeconomic changes. They make choices that will change their lives forever. One does what is expected to rise in the Communist party. The other protests against the government.
There’s a common theme to the story — the inevitable loss of a great love as one of them cannot accept there’s a future for them. The fear of social rejection, the shame of thinking that sexual desires are sins, and the desire to run away from everything and everyone are some of the themes that run through this thoughtful and beautifully written story.
I didn’t find all the references to Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room relatable, but it makes sense in the context of the story. I cried at the end which is unusual for me so that’s always a sign of a good book.
Highly recommended but get out the tissues.
